admin's Guestbook

Honestly, I'm kinda SUPER FECKING TIRED of people kinda acting as if they know my attraction BETTER THAN ME, EVEN! Like, I'm TIRED of writing an emotional post about something, and then being assumed I'm attracted to that, or liking something a lot and being assumed it's romantic, or even wearing an off-shoulder top and people looking at me like I'm some schoolgirl who might wanna try to impress people - like, ISN'T NON-SEXUALITY EMBEDDED INTO MY PERSONALITY?! And there's ALLOS assuming I have a crush, or insisting the Saja Boys are hot but specifically as if EVERYONE'S in agreement, or telling me they wish I'd fall in love because it's "so amazing", and that I'll one day find some boy I'd fall in love with and take everything back with, and then there's AROS or ACES or AROACES, who assume I'm attracted to something I wrote emotionally about, or in themself due to experiencing affection (to be honest that dude had a BUNCH of problems and 99% of them were himself), or something else - like, MY COMMUNITY TOO?! And something that bothers me, maybe even MORE than people assuming ALL KINDS OF STUFF about my sexuality (which I don't have but people act as if I do), is the fact, that even if I could have a crush ... WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK IT'D BE ON THE PEOPLE I'M CONSTANTLY ACCUSED OF HAVING A CRUSH ON?! Like, AT LEAST GET IT RIGHT! Like COME ON, do I fucking SEEM like the type to have a crush on emo boy with no communication issues number 4, or fecking Gerald from the office across the field?! WHY DO PEOPLE THINK I WANT SOME "dom daddy" or whatever the FUCK people see when they look at Gerald staring into their computer screen?! Like, look, I do consider dating, I like being pampered and money and bragging rights and getting affection and having a back-up plan in case my 1 friend who I could probably live with, fecking dies or something, AND THE BOYFRIEND I WANT, IS SOMEONE SOFT AND CUTE WHO'D ACTUALLY DO WHAT I SAY WHO WOULD NEVER WANNA TRY TO HAVE ANY SEMBLANCE OF DOMINANCE - like, honestly, I just want some COMPLETELY NONSEXUAL beautiful boy who is willing to, like, be romantic, spoil me, play with my ponies, pose for pictures, take care of me, and never demand to ever be anything like the "hot" ceo crap, because if I encounter a guy who likes me like that, I'd probably have to get violent to let it be known that I do NOT want that, not even secretly - wait, maybe THAT'S why I feel like those types wouldn't believe me if I said I'm not interested - BECAUSE PEOPLE NOT EVEN WANTING TO DATE ME, DO! Like do I SEEM like someone wanting to unironically date and be an equal to someone without profit in mind?! And then a huge shout-out to "Gerald", because I can wear what I want without somehow ending up feeling like the town slut, then mentally beating myself up for the shame of NOT being sexual and not wanting to be - like, also shout-out to them for NOT assuming romantic and/or sexual intentions about ANYTHING I do, and for still showing off (they're an attention-seeker LOL).

Reminder to self that God told me not to worry about Loveproof, and that I do keep seeing the name "Daniel" for a reason ...

Boycott Youtube!

Stims I do that disrupt me:

- Opening apps, scrolling, watching short videos, refreshing, checking tabs, etc, just FINDING NEW CONTENT
- Watching animash, AMVs, LPS AMVs, PMVs, edits, etc, on repeat, even my own
- Playing with my hair SO DAMN MUCH
- Walking around for some reason, staring at the dog, lying down in bed and wanting to hug a plushie for HOURS, walking over to drink water because I don't know how much, eating

Keep fighting against Kosa!