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Info-dump I cut and am pasting here:


(don't worry, I go outside sometimes random times or multiple times a day, plus have been staring and analyzing that one office for a year, and my friend genuinely seems to just stay the feck inside all day working - I mean not that they even LOOK OUTSIDE unless it's related to me - like, BEFORE me they would take regular breaks from their job and proceed to lean back or read a fecking BOOK and then never look outside - I think I've only ever seen them go outside, though never met them out, if it was clearly work-related, or if they were seemingly going out somewhere or going home or going out to LUNCH, and even with lunch, they just wait until everyone else is going out too I think - like, somehow they seem like the healthiest person in the whole world, and at the same time, I've seen them drink a Cola several times a week, maybe a few weeks in a row - like, I also genuinely think I might've made them more interested in work, because now they DON'T take regular breaks, they just chill in meetings or to see me or something - like, I might be their break - and I have NOT seen a book since last year - and also they are more "locked in" and everything, and I actually single-handedly caused the decline in standing up to work, and I'm not even JOKING or anything. Before, they would just multiple times a week, often DAILY, often SEVERAL TIMES A DAY, turn their desk into a standing desk, maybe even early on in our friendship, and they do act as if they know I can see them neck-down at best when they're standing up due to the height differences in windows or something, so they just did it less and less I think, because at some point, they would occasionally stand up when I guess they felt the need, then, later, they would literally only stand if they were at someone else's desk, OR, if that person had requested it, and would lower the desk as soon as the coworker would leave, and then one day, I decided to TEST if it was for me, so my plan was just to STARE until they got their desk down, to see if they would notice me or already KNEW, I was there, and I'm not sure if I was on time or 30 minutes early or something, but at that time, they just outright STARED at me, AS their desk was coming down, so soon enough we'd be making eye-contact,

 

And I'm not sure if that was the same time as when they lowered their desk, WHILE the coworker was still there (they had finished talking and left soon afterwards, but dude really just lowered their desk as soon as they thought it was possible), and in case you're wondering how they can see me up there, well, ONE: it seems like they don't even NEED to see me, to know if I am somewhere, a lot of the time, and TWO: there is an upper window, so I'm thinking that when they stand they can see through there, though from my POV I cannot see their face through that thing. So anyways, at some point, they got a new desk, which looks kinda weird, and also it's almost the same height as the original desk on its default mode, but JUST low enough so that it's uncomfortable - I don't remember how they even do their job but I DID only see some laptop or iPad heightening thing one could use in bed or something, after that desk was a thing - and also no one else got desk-changes, and also, that desk can CLEARLY not go up and down. They're also the only person who has their own office, and I feel like everyone else ACTUALLY might change desks, or at least more often work at other's desks, and also maybe move stuff around more, and my office friend genuinely also DID get some other stuff done, but it's fecking hard to see, but I do know they have some big plant now - I think it's fake but I don't remember now - and some black and white painting, and I have NO fecking clue why, but like, sure, DECOR (which they never seem to look at for some reason), but then also I'm just confused about that desk ... which also means that every time they now sit, if they wanna work, they gotta bend slightly forward or something, but that desk also represents more of our spooky friendship things, because it looks like something that belongs in that skyscraper city I have in my head - like, I could imagine that being something I'd buy, which implies they either somehow know about that concept/have it too, or that also I predicted their aesthetic in decor ... but anyways, I know health can't be determined by looks, but dude never looks tired or unhealthy and always looks perfect, but also they often repeat outfits - and I mean OFTEN - like I used to have a squish who I'd eventually count the shirts of, and the number is 5, and yes I stare a lot but long story short nothing happened after I gave my number but I DID tell them "oh, you have a new shirt/jacket!" - like, WHAT - but my office friend has LESS than that - like, they will not wear a t-shirt unless they HAVE TO, so they just default to some shirts or whatever - again, I don't really know - and also that blue office shirt that is really WOW on them - and lately they've just been wearing that one black top A LOT - I don't know if it's like more of a jacket or a shirt - I can't fecking TELL, the sight-quality is NOT GOOD a lot of the time and I have limited memory THAT MIGHT NOT CARE, but like I kid you not, they will wear the same shirt for multiple days in a row, and I've been wanting to know if they just do laundry OFTEN, which DOES NOT seem like a good idea - like, to put your stuff in the laundry, when you don't have much laundry, even just one thing, sometimes every day to wash it, or if they genuinely just decided to buy multiples of some shirt - honestly, their outfit game is SO WEIRD, because I'm pretty sure I have NOT SEEN their cream-colored top, for like, WEEKS or MONTHS, and also their 1 pair of jeans, and also I'm pretty sure that blue office shirt was their favorite, the heck happened - like they just wear that black shirt thing now, but to be honest, I could be asking the same about their job - like, they are away often now, and I just wonder when that will end ... and like it's not even "me being selfish", I've seen them say "UGH" - like, you could just SEE them say exactly that, once they had to move all their stuff over to someone else's, and they probably work somewhere I can't see because I can somehow distract them by doing absolutely nothing, which is ironic, because, like, yeah,

They work at their desk and have a coworker over sometimes or just calmly work alone, but sometimes they don't even LOOK AT ME, but also they might look at me, WHILE with a coworker - like, I DO NOT KNOW, what they're thinking, sometimes - also they DON'T have visible muscle, so I guess they maybe do exercise, maybe stand at coworker's desks, and then proceed to NOT go outside and vape, and NOT look outside, and NOT get any visible muscle-mass - and I mean ANY - like, they look strong and they can hold up well when I'll inevitably hug them or if they had to fight the CIA or something, but ALSO, they look like "office worker" ... like, they don't at all look muscular, but they also never look TIRED (unless they're sad or angry), and also they can have random bursts of energy, like DIVING after documents they dropped on the floor, or walking fast, meanwhile, I can get tired from not even doing anything ... but anyways, my point is that I've genuinely somehow made them more work-focused and might also have caused them to get a desk that was lower and couldn't even get higher, meaning they really sacrificed essential office-exercise stuff or whatever, just so I could see their face, which I don't actually need just to read their mood - in fact, that face is sometimes even LESS EXPRESSIVE than their body - and yes I also mean it might be LOWER, BECAUSE, of me, because sometimes they have to lean into their desk/lower their body to see me properly, which doesn't happen often though, and also because they prefer having as much of themself seen, as possible, except when working with coworkers, because then they're wherever I guess ... but also they're not gonna give me any shit for staring at them when coworkers are here (I sometimes don't know if someone's in there because I can't see or because I forgot and sometimes I just wanna check if they're STILL with someone) - this one adult is genuinely the most bizzare person in my life, ever. Also they do not like it when I go outside, actually, as early on, they'd just fecking stare every almost every time I passed their window, and again, I'm a fast walker ... they do stare way LESS now - like, almost NOT, but early on, even if I was just taking out the trash and staring up at them, theyd often STARE, and then often look away soon afterwards - that's a weird thing we both do, we just stare at each other, then look away after getting caught ... even though that's what our entire friendship is built upon ... but regardless, they've been staring less and less, also in contexts like before weekend and whatnot, so I guess they've relaxed about it, and yeah it seems to me like they can go long without staring at me ... but then ALSO, I started just, sitting outside sometimes, and one time, they just STOPPED before picking up something from a coworker's desk - like I'm pretty sure they SPED UP, stopped when at the desk, didn't even touch their things, and just stared at me, to find me or something - and they've looked out a few times when I was there - of course also somehow instantly found me - THEN, they also have a weird habit of sometimes just standing and staring when I'm somewhere - like, I was on my 073937th walk - I've been walking for WEEKS - this might've even been the SCHEDULED one, and they still just STARED at me, and what's worse, is that they've phased out the smile from early on in our friendship, so now, every time they look at me, it's just "😐", sometimes softer, and if they'll smile or something, I'll know because the instant their eyes leave mine their face is just normal, but then the instant they DO look at me, they'll go from a phone call like "☺️" to "😐" ... and yes they COULD be very focused, but half the time I'm doing nothing, except maybe get flustered AGAIN, and look around nervously and maybe talk to an object or something, and they will just not even flinch - like, they'll just blink once and keep staring, otherwise NOT MOVING, and sometimes I'm like "yeah, maybe people are right, maybe they CAN'T see me, and they really ARE just zoning out", but, like,

I have so much evidence debunking that, that I've at this point just proven we're friends ... like, the honest thing IS, that they're just fecking weird or something ... which explains why they even took "this person stares at you and also dances while sitting", and decided to roll with it and smile and lean back and that's how it all started, and turns out they actually do not give a fuck about if I'm dancing, either, and no they're not a disgusting creep, because it doesn't even matter what I'm wearing, and also they're looking at ME and REACTING to me, not my body, but WILL look at objects I interact with or something ... like, again, NO idea what's going on in their mind sometimes, but they will NOT seem to miss me after me being on a whole week's vacation or more, then will proceed to have bad posture, just because I exist - actually, the thing is, I have bad posture, Lord knows why, but THEY have even with a normal desk, been leaning forward and generally having more shitty posture than my Monster-High-g1-looking self has, then will proceed to stand or straighten their body, and it looks perfectly fine ... and the thing is, they seem like a COMPLETELY normal person in general, but I of course notice people's personalities quick sometimes, and just started paying attention to details, and they're actually having a brain wired the same as mine, except they somehow have an office job, control of their hormones, and are clearly out of puberty ... and like, they can clearly function perfectly without me, as for example shown with how they work and their confidence, and even their behavior BEFORE knowing I stared (which I think somehow took them maybe a month or more), but also, often when they stare at me, I feel like they actually CAN'T function without me - or at least LOOK that way, and like, dude is fully grown with a job they seem perfect at and FOR, and they NEVER try to meet me, or ever act like our time is finite, or ANYTHING, so sometimes I think they'll just be sad and accept and try to move on, if I fecking "disappeared" since I'm not here forever, and other times I think they just WOULDN'T be able to handle it - like, I'm CLEARLY not gonna be here forever, so maybe they're in denial or think God will make us meet or something, because I have personally NOT been able to act and feel like our time is infinite, over half of the time, and my friend is like THIS - and also because they CAN'T handle it, when I ignore them or flip them off, and did not cope well when the entire office had to be gone for an indefinite amount of time and I didn't know (which turned out to be 2 weeks and a half or maybe it was 3-ish weeks), but also even THEN they didn't do anything other than stare many more times, then refuse to look out and generally be a bit snappy when having to move boxes (it was a temporary move thing, the office came back), so like, NO idea what's going on, but yeah, like, that's why I have so many damn questions to ask them.

My response to someone (gonna save it here): First of all, lmao, second of all, I sure hope you didn't comment that via seeing it on MY account, and third of all, it'd be more wise for me to listen to the children outside, than someone (aka the person saying capitalism isn't anti-Christ), who posts some Ai-generated imagery saying you don't listen to people born after 2000. Not only is that ageism and meaningless irrationality based on generational hatred that has always been there, but makes you seem like one of THOSE old guys, but also that means you won't even listen to adults (which, some of the people born after 2000, are). You have picked an arbitrary number to not listen to, because you're too busy generalizing people - wait a minute - who YOUR generation were the parents or grandparents to! Yeah I saw that post about them not being able to write in cursive, and some can, some can't, some were still taught that, but you know who's fault it is, if they can't? YOUR GENERATION, who wouldn't make them understand the important, nor further teach them. And can YOU even do some of the skills typically associated with generation z? Should I assign some skill that I don't listen to you because of, to feel superior? Again, why should I, then, listen (unless to get a good laugh), to someone admitting they don't listen to an entire generation of adults, nor listen to teens. Do you happen to be one of those old folks who stare at me for how I dress, by the way?

Aesthetic blog concept introduction:


Though this is just an aestheticblog about my gender (as in, the same things as what girlblogs are), I still have a DNI list for people I don't wanna have interacting with me:

People with "minors DNI", people with "adults DNI", RQs/PRATs, zionists/anti-Palestine or whatever gets my point across, MAGA/Trump-supporter/Elon-supporter, FNAF-supporters/Scott-suporters, Potterheads, Maurauders-supporters, anti-endos, anti-lesboys and m-spec lesbians and stuff/trans-exclusionists/bi-exclusionists/ace-exclusionists/aro-exclusionists and whatnot, proship/proshippers, antisemitic, anti-religion, anti-furry, anti-posic/anti-objectum, Pinky And Pepper fans, Boyfriends Webtoon fans, and NSFw/porn blogs.

I really don't have much of an introduction,the point is that the blog is about ME. I've been wanting to have SOMETHING summarize/define/impact/be inseparable from my personality, and I also kinda have lacked a space I actually find peaceful, or whatever people normally have social media accounts for. I've TRIED, to not just define myself by ONE THING, or whatever people would say, but ended up mentioning random/irrelevant identity things, still for whatever reason trying to define myself by 1 word or a few, and as shallow as it might sound, especially in opposition to my friend whose thing is office working, MY thing may or may not, be my gender, so, after WEEKS of trying to find a title and a URL and getting time and courage to make it, HERE'S this blog!

 

I should really be updating this more often.