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I'm gonna miss Office Worker this summer.

Might be gone for a bit.

I was stressed today.

Am still having addiction urges.

Writing down The Void in meme format so it's easier (I probably have done this already but can't find it):

- Need someone for my emotions, to keep my life together, to be the more optimisitc/calm one, to live life with, etc
- Am needing to be someone's favorite LOL/to "own" them (in extreme cases might say brutally mean things about the loved ones of whoever I'm clinging to)
- Am having nurturing instincs that may activate when in contact with something cute (unfortunately my own peers are cute to me - strangely enough, people younger are significantly less cute)
- I don't want kids and don't truly want a boyfriend, but a boyfriend appeals due to the exclusivity and whatnot
- Am having trouble calming myself down, figuring life out, lack an outlet for my weird intense platonic affection or for even just the nurturing instinct, and have trouble sleeping when understimulated, bored, or feeling alone (I want and need to NOT feel alone - have a tendency to feel lonely at night)
- Might accidentally cling to 1 or more people, might have a main one
- The Void can feel extremely painful and like hunger, but might just feel like emptiness, or like something is missing, or just the fact that I have no one to treat in my weird way, but most of the time I can't feel it like that, only the effects (which I might not even realize are the effects of The Void, such as me acting up)
- Am naturally clingy and nurturing and all, not just because of The Void
- Have intense platonic emotions that most would confuse for romantic and/or sexual, but would NEVER have someone as a friend who have been or will or CAN be a live interest, and have an unexplainable drive to "stay wholesome" (personally would stay away from drugs and coffee and alcohol and whatnot, but both of us being completely SFW and acting as if nothing can be "unwholesome" is a must (and also no queerplatonic or alterous stuff, etc)
- If wanting to nurture someone, might warn them or try to scare them away by telling about me, but may seem nice, honest, funny, kind, polite, or other things, and be willing to listen, give advice, laugh, tell about ME, and more, but if pulled away from or angered in similar ways, may become more distant or snap, though what the other person might not see is me panicking and sobbing and whatnot (and have a weird thing with wanting to punish VS reward based on behavior, which is EXTRA weird given that I'm actually the platonic submissive one in friendship)
- May try to fill The Void, even on accident, such as with robot dogs, plushies, games, people, etc
- Might feel hurt and therefore snap or just have a very bad day if not given "enough attention" but there is a chance I'll actually not even react badly
- Will wanna hear everything, will want my advice to be taken into consideration, will want reciprocation, will be jealous at exclusivity with someone else, etc
- May act like a young fan if person of interest is older (30 or something), more professional or something if younger, and more nurturing and relatable if peer
- Will at times sob and maybe be sad/sob for hours if something like the nurturing instinct is activated, and will generally panic if The Void is giving issues like lashing out or if the chosen person is more distant or if having a squish on someone new (may feel extreme guilt and/or like a monster